18 Thoughts Everyone Has During Spring Cleaning

Let’s be honest: Unless you’re literally Marie Kondo, you probably aren’t thrilled by the prospect of spring cleaning. That said, we all have to do it. When you finally cave and decide to get your life together, it’ll probably go something like this:

  1. I’m feeling personally attacked by all of the ~spring cleaning inspo~ on Instagram right now. Like, I get it, you all watched “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.”
  2. But OK, yeah, you’re right, maybe I should just sort through a few things.
  3. *Five minutes later* Dear God, where do I even start? Everything is a mess. What is wrong with me? I need to spring clean my entire life. I am a disaster.
  4. OK, calm down, just start with the kitchen. No big deal. You’ve got this.
  5. Oh my God, this yogurt expired six months ago??? Am I a monster?
  6. Alright, the vegetable graveyard that was my produce drawer is clean now, so that’s good.
  7. My cupboards can’t be too bad. Let’s take a look.
  8. Why do I have enough canned food to survive the apocalypse? There has to be a better way to organize this stuff.
  9. *Searches “pantry inspo” on Pinterest* Oooh, a tiered storage rack? That’s sophisticated. I can be sophisticated! *Adds to cart*
  10. Good job, me. On to the bathroom.
  11. *Goes to clean toilet* *Sits down and Googles cost of a professional cleaner* *Picks up toilet brush*
  12. Maybe it’s time to actually use those glass soap dispensers Mom got me. Decanting is trendy, right?
  13. Alright, some progress has been made. I’m taking a break. Let’s see why everyone is freaking out about that Marie Kondo show…
  14. *One hour later* THESE JEANS HAVEN’T FIT ME IN FIVE YEARS AND THAT DOES NOT SPARK JOY.
  15. But what if they fit me in like a few months and I… no, they have to go. Marie would be so proud of me right now.
  16. OK, that’s enough for one day. I can now sort of see my reflection in the mirror.
  17. *Decides the leftovers in the fridge also don’t spark joy* *Gets rid of them by eating them for dinner*
  18. Wow, what a rush. Is this what Marie Kondo feels like every day?

Vanessa Rodriguez 


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